thoughts expressed in words.

2011-09-24T18:01:00.002+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In remembrance, there is darkness.

In remembrance too, there is light.

Sometimes, to forget is tough as in the process of forgetting, we remember.

p.s the number of posts being posted will decrease due to the disappearance of the line whenever idea strikes. +.+

Pinjaman Semata.

2011-08-26T00:59:00.003+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم،

Worldly things. It's hard to not to get too attached with it.

Once love has blossomed, fear of losing will come, possessiveness will follow thus when something is being taken away from what we presume as ours, sadness will be one of the feelings that we will get; apart from questioning why we deserve such treatment.

Well sometimes, we really need to constantly remind ourselves that what we thought as our possessions, are never ours in the first place. We never own anything, nor possess anything. Everything is actually a loan from the Almighty, the Creator.

The purpose of Him lending to us, our bodies, our families and the list goes on, is to use it wisely, as a medium for us to worship Him. Our daily lives, our very existence is to worship Him.

قال تعالى: " وما خلقت الجن والإنس إلا ليعبدون" - الذاريات: 56
" And I ( Allah ) have not created the jinn and the men except that they should serve me. " Az- Zariyaat: 56.

So let us imagine, if we borrow something from someone, we are expected to take good responsibility of it, and when the time comes, we have to return it in the very same condition when we accept it as a loan. So, please ( a self- reminder for me, of course ), take good care of the body, so that it can serve its very purpose of existence and everything else around, as it is one of the many means to serve and worship Him and when the time comes to return what He had given, may we all be given the strength to let it go with the feelings of redha and ikhlas.

والله تعالى أعلم.

Supplication.

2011-08-16T00:15:00.002+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Bila diberi nikmat, kita diajar untuk bersyukur dan senantiasa kita berdoa agar nikmat ini dikekalkan.

Bila ditimpa musibah, kita sering meminta kepada Sang Pencipta agar apa yang ditimpa itu menjadi kaffarah dosa dosa dan memohon agar musibah itu pergi dengan cepat.

And when things that are not of our control, we pray to Him as He is the only one who can ease things for us.

The direct connection that we - servants of God - have with Him, is priceless. The very fact that He can hear us praying to him, crying because of our own sins and His assurance to us that He is near to us, He will respond to our prayers.. We should be thankful that we are granted Hidayah.

The beauty of duaa.

Expiry.

2011-08-13T23:57:00.003+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Almost everything around us has an expiration date, whether it is known exactly when the date will be, for example food products, or just an estimation of days, months, or even years such as electrical appliances.

Human beings too has an expiration date. When an embryo begins to form in the mother's womb, before the ruuh is being blown into it, 4 things are being written for the embryo which in turn will be a human being later - with God's will - and one of them is death.

Death, an extremely certain and definite phase in life that one has to go through yet it is often the most neglected one. In the Quran and the Hadith, there are a lot of verses and sayings on how to go to Jannah ( Paradise ), sometimes specific acts are being mentioned and at times, just general description of any good acts. Yet, we tend to forget about the existence of death. How irony.

It hits to me that whenever we have some important events coming up, we will get ourselves prepared to give the best as we hope to only receive the best outcome and although the outcome is not within our control, we still give our very best but when preparations for death are concerned, we often forgot and forget to give our best although Allah has promised glad tidings for those who believe and do good; from maintaining relationship with Him to preserving good relationship with other human beings. The path to the promised Paradise is clear and He never, ever breaks his promise but why, why do we always think very little of our preparation in facing death?

Our expiration date is unknown. Maybe, we have our months to live, or even days, yet, even seconds before death meets us. So why not, we start by making our every single step, little step, a step closer to Him?

P.s I only pray, I have the strength. The strength to realise that everything is actually a loan from Him and I don't even own a single thing.

Hujan.

2011-08-04T17:28:00.000+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Hujan,
Tidak pernah gagal membuat diri merasa gembira.

Hujan,
Juga selalu berjaya membuat minda menerawang.

Tatkala rintik hujan mula membasahi bumi,
Dan wajah mendongak ke ruang angkasa,
Terasa seakan semua yang membelenggu jiwa,
Turut lebur bersama rintik itu.

Alangkah indahnya hujan,
Tiada hairan hati boleh berbunga olehnya.

Terdapat banyak hadith yang berkaitan dengan hujan, doa yang patut dipanjatkan tatkala hujan turun bahkan setelah ia hujan. Mungkin itu adalah isyarat tidak langsung akan kelebihan hujan.

Antara doa- doa tersebut:

- Doa ketika melihat hujan: اللهم صيبا نافعا.
Yang bermaksud: Ya Allah, jadikanlah hujan yang bermanfaat.

- Dzikir selepas turunnya hujan: مطرنا بفضل الله ورحمته.
Yang bermaksud: Kita diberi hujan karena kurnia dan rahmat Allah.

Oleh itu, setiap kali turunnya hujan, selain dari tersenyum sambil berfikir, jangan lupa untuk membaca doa dan dzikir yang telah diajar oleh Rasul kita, Shollallahu 'Alaih Wasallam.

Selamat petang. (:

Suatu Keputusan.

2010-12-22T18:16:00.002+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Semakin aku kuat berlari, semakin dekat bayangan itu menghampiri.
Cukup payah.
Adakah perlu untuk aku berhenti dan membuat suatu keputusan?
Atau terus membiarkan diri ini berlari dan dikejar tanpa mengetahui suatu kepastian?

Erti Hidup.

2010-12-09T00:32:00.002+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Mengejar atau dikejar.
Apakah pilihan anda?
Kerna hidup menuntut suatu keputusan.

Ada Tetapi Tidak Mencukupi.

2010-11-22T00:46:00.002+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Sudah banyak yang telah diberikan.
Namun rasa seakan tidak cukup.

Sudah dianugerahi dengan nikmat yang tidak terkira.
Tetapi masih tetap merasa bahawa ada yang kurang.

Sudah mempunyai apa yang diinginkan.
Namun tidak pernah berhenti meminta.

Dasar manusia.

Kadangkala diri merasa seperti seorang abd yang tidak mensyukuri
Atas segala apa yang dilimpahi.

Saat apa yang diminta belum dikabulkan
Diri ini merasa putus asa.

Saat merasa bahawa segala apa yang menimpa diri
Terlalu berat untuk dipikul sehingga rebah.

Kata- kataMu jua sering menjadi penawar hati:

وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ ۖ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ ۖ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ
- Surah al- Baqarah: 186.

AyatMu membuat diri ini tahu bahawa Kau dekat.
Kau Mendengar.
Kau Menperkenankan doa HambaMu.

Tatkala itu, keyakinan mula kembali.
Akan terus berdoa dan berdoa.
Kerna ku tahu Kau Maha Mendengar.

Semoga aku, kita semua menjadi seorang hamba yang selalu bersyukur,
di kala doa tidak pernah lekang dari hidup.

Complex.

2010-11-19T00:06:00.002+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Human beings are such complex creatures. The complexity of human beings comprises of their thoughts, actions, speech and many others. Feelings too, is not excluded.

Lately, a thought keeps lingering around my poor brain and it's kind of bothering me.

How can a person love someone without even knowing the other party well enough?
How can a person miss someone whom he or she does not even contact the other party on a frequent basis?
How can a person long to see the other party - even if he or she is just able to see the other party's shadow - that every single thing around the person reminds him or her about the other party?
How can one feel all of the above while knowing that the other individual may not even share the same feeling?

Is it the existence of hope that keeps the individual to continue behaving in such a way or are there other factors?
The probability of falling into a abyss of no return with hurt as a souvenir is extremely high yet human beings - where feelings is concerned - are such risk- takers. And why is that?

Mind- boggling much.

Wassalam.

Wishful Thinking.

2010-11-15T03:22:00.002+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

A thought just popped up in my tiny little brain just like how somebody PM- ed you while you were online. Caught you by surprise.

What if, - just what if - we crossed each other's paths, without us even realising it. Would things turn out differently if we knew?

Wassalam.

Achluophobia.

2010-11-14T02:57:00.003+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Just moments ago, I was preparing to put myself to sleep, literally I mean.

Well, there are a few things that could be considered as a ritual for me to go through before going to sleep and they are: Closing the windows, going to the toilet, put my handphones beside me and turning on the table lamp.

And just now, after the aboved three had been done, I turned myself to my green table lamp and switched it on but there was no light shining from the bulb. This was when I realised that the bulb had blown.

With that, a thought made its way to my little brain. There will be no light to accompany me through the night. Worry starts to come by and say hi to me. It informs that the room will be dark without the light from the table lamp. How would I be able to sleep?

Yes, I do sleep with the lights on. With the table lamp's light, yet often during the examinations' period, the normal ceiling lights would accompany me. Sometimes, I do wonder why I prefer to have at least a little light to accompany my night. Is it due to the fear of the darkness? Hmm.. I'm not sure about that but one thing that I am really sure of is that I just don't like the situation of not being able to see and the thought of not being able to see my own hands is worse. It terrifies me. I wonder, is it due to fear that the dark brings about uncertainty or just a matter of preference or is it a result of an action continuously being carried out till it becomes a habit that caused me to behave and act in such a way?

Anyway, as for tonight, the normal ceiling lights will definitely be my companion for the night.

Achluophobia: The fear of the dark is a common fear among children and to a varying degree is observed for adults. Fear of the dark is usually not fear of the darkness itself, but fear of possible or imagined dangers concealed by the darkness.

Wassalam.

After Much Hibernation.

2010-11-14T00:58:00.003+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

It has been quite a long time since I last updated my blog.

Well, you can conclude that I am such a lazy person by observing the dynamics of this blog to the extend that the laziness is my stumbling block for me to constantly update and I admit to that.

Yet, as time goes by, especially when I start to live abroad, I realised that I like to ponder on the things that happened in my life and these thoughts of mine are often expressed in words which are often jotted down in my handphone.

Often, these ramblings of mine will be posted at my Facebook - that are often being reflected by my constant updates of status - but recently, I found that Facebook is too public a place for me to constantly jot down my thoughts, my feelings.

And for this very reason, I decided to start writing again, at this place, in this blog. I can't promise that I will constantly update this humble blog yet I will try. With the hope that the Facebook would not be flooded with my ramblings.

I suppose that this will be it for now and maybe I will return soon. Real soon.

Wassalam.

Two Thumbs Up.

2009-11-19T02:44:00.002+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Jodi Picoult's books never failed to keep me interested, keep me wanting to know about what will happen next. I can stay up until the wee hours of the morning just to finish up reading her book.
And when her bestseller's is made into a movie, I made it a point for me to go and watch it. Alas, I made it; after pestering my dearest sister to watch it with me although she had watched it before.
Two thumbs up for the movie. Tears rolled down like it would never end. The story touched my heart as it taught me about how loving somebody can make you do things that you had never imagined doing. Loving somebody can make you do things; absurd things just to make your loved one happy. Loving somebody can make you do a lot of things that you thought was in his best interests, even if - at the time - it looked utterly wrong to others. To love somebody is to sacrifice and to love somebody is to cherish them.
I shall not compare the book with the movie because it's not a fair comparison but the movie had done justice to the book; in my opinion.
My suggestion to all, do read the book. I - personally - spent all night crying while reading the book. A lot of values and life lessons can be taken from the story; both the book and the movie.

Wassalam.

A New Beginning After Every Ending.

2009-11-16T00:07:00.002+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Examinations have ended at last.
How will I fare? Allahua'lam. Maybe I could do better but now I just have to leave everything to Him.
Semester One has taught me a lot of things and it has definitely left an impact on myself and my thoughts.
Will definitely miss my semester one lecturers. I had gained a lot of knowledge from them. Jazaahumullah Khairal Jaazaa'. Maybe, you won't even remember having me as your student but I will never forget you being my teacher. :)

Wassalam.

Perfection.

2009-10-05T00:03:00.004+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الحيم

Not a perfect person. Yet, am striving for perfection.
People always said that, why bother practice and try, cause everyone will never be perfect. I disagree. Aim for the skies as, if you fall and fail, maybe you will get to grasp the stars.
Perfection is a subjective matter and abstract. It can't never be gauged with a standard. What is perfect for a person will never be perfect in other person's eyes.

Perfection for me lies in 3 vital factors. Islam, Ittiba and Ikhlas. With these 3 factors, one will be able to lead a perfect life and will achieve perfection. Perfection in one's own eyes not in the eyes of others or in arabic term, insan kaamil.

Islam? The first factor that all of us have achieved it, insyaAllah. So, in my opinion, there's no problem with that.

Ittiba'? Well, there's always problem in carrying out this factor. Ittiba' means following our beloved Prophet Shollallahu Alaihi Wasaalam in every actions that we do. Ibaadah, Muaamalat, Munaakahat and many others. Al- Qur'an and As- Sunnah are the reference. However, do we really follow the Qur'an and Sunnah in our daily lives? Do we really know the basis and dalils behind every actions that we take? Behind every ibaadah that we do?

Ikhlas? Ahh.. Another factor that is very hard for me especially to instil in my soul. Ikhlas means to be very sincere in doing things only for Allah. Yet, time and again, I find myself doing things not for His sake whereby actually I can gain a lot of tsawaab if I do things lillahi ta'alaa. Being forced into doing things, complaining about the responsibilities that I was assigned to carry out and others. Purify the intention and you will find peace in your heart. That is what I believe yet there's no doubt that is is extremely hard to carry it out. Mujahadah.. in every path that one took in the pursuit of mardhatillah, there will always be obstacles. However, the obstacles will make one stronger if one follows the path that is guided by Allah and Rasul Shollallahu Alaihi Wasallam.

Perfection? Am striving for it.
p.s just some ramblings of mine as a reminder for me to do some self- reflection.
p.s.s sorry to my faithful readers for not updating my blog for quite a time. Want to know about my experience in UIA, wait for my book on it. ;)

Wassalam.

My Little Miss Messy.

2009-06-25T01:24:00.002+08:00

I'm not a poet
Nor am I good with words
These are my thoughts
Humble thoughts for you

Standing at the crossroads of my life
Never did I imagine this time would come
Never did I imagine that this day would arrive

Hugging you so tightly
Tears flowed down my cheeks
How I wished time would freeze
And allow me to be in your arms
Allow us not to part

Releasing you is hard
But I know it has to be done
Cause we are parting for valid reasons
Parting in order to seek something
Something that is extremely valuable

Goodbyes were accompanied with tears
As you walked away
My eyes were fixed on you
Becoming smaller by the second
Until you were out of sight

Then, I realised
There' s something missing
There's something in my heart that is missing
It's you my dear
You are and will always be part of me

My prayers will accompany your journey
My care will be with you
I must and am redha with our parting
May this friendship be strong
As time goes by
I pray

Khas Untukmu.

2009-06-25T01:09:00.002+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Thursday
25 June 2009

Sahabat,

Pergilah terbang
Lebarkan sayapmu
Merentasi langit cita- citamu

Pergilah terbang
Menerobos awan
Menimba ilmu yang Allah ciptakan

Pergilah teman
Pemergianmu ditangisi
Pemergianmu diiringi
Dengan doa tulus ikhlasku

Berbaktilah pada agama dan masyarakat
Di mana sahaja kamu berada
Biar kamu jauh di mata
Dalam hati ini, kamu tetap ada

Yang ikhlas merinduimu,
Nur Fathin Khairul Anuar

01: 23 AM

You.

2009-06-21T01:08:00.001+08:00

Deras hatiku berdetar

Di langit aku terlihat kamu

Terang malam,teman kita

Dengan angin meniup

Ku petik gitar akustik ini

Dengan harapan dia mendengar

Melodi indah yang ku cipta

Hanya untuk luahkan rinduku padanya

Dan aku terus,

Menyanyi lagu ini untukmu,

Walau berjuta mendengar,

Lagu ini hanya untukmu,

Arah hidup kita,

Digambar bintang di angkasa

Berkelip melukis cinta

Terciptalah lagu kita

Walau dekat, walau hanya beberapa jam perjalanan, walau seberang tambak, walau mampu pulang setiap minggu. Rindu tetap rindu.

Dan mulalah perjalanan mereka ke alam yang baru.
Aku akan sentiasa merindu.

The aboved post definitely described my feeling to a T.
Credits to Nur'athifah Mohd Noor. :)

Dedicated To You And Only You.

2009-06-21T00:25:00.002+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Sunday
21 June 2009

Sahabat
Ingatlah Kau Selalu
Jadi Yang Terbaik
Walau Kau Tak Di Sini Lagi

Sahabat
Aku Rindu Padamu
Datanglah Walau Sesaat
Ku inginkan Kau Hadir
Aku Disini Dan Menunggu
Diam Tanpa Dirimu

Sahabat
Kau Tahu Ku Tak Bisa
Beranjak Terbang Dan Melayang
Tanpu Dirimu Ku Tak Bisa Dan Kembalilah
Aku Disini Dan Menunggu

Sahabat

p.s credits go to Aizat's song titled Sahabat.

Nur Fathin Khairul Anuar
12: 39 AM

Saturday The Thirteen.

2009-06-19T00:38:00.002+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Friday
19 June 2009

It's been a hectic week or should I say, a terribly hectic month.
So many things to do, so little time.
Alhamdulillah, my family has been helping out with most of the preparation. :)

Anyway, last week I went to a wedding at Johor Bahru as my family had been invited by our Ustaz to his children's weddings.
Why weddings? 'Cause he held it for his son's together with his daughter's reception.
It is the type of wedding reception that I'm planning to hold if I get married one day. Hee.
So nice and tranquil. :D

The week ahead will definitely be a hectic one.
So little time left, so many things to do.
Allahu Musta'an.

Nur Fathin Binte Khairul Anuar
12: 49 AM

So Close.

2009-06-13T23:23:00.002+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Saturday
13 June 2009

Life is terribly fragile that a single reckless act can change everything in a split second. SubhaanaAllah.
Thank you Allah for everything. Thank you.

I don't have the strength to leave them. I really don't.
Wallahu Musta'an.

Nur Fathin Binte Khairul Anuar
11: 30 PM

Searching For The Others.

2009-06-13T00:07:00.006+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Friday
12 June 2009

' Papa happy. Anak papa dah nak lanjutkan pelajaran. '

That was his words that he conveyed to me while he was reversing the car in our home's carpark just now.
We were back from driving around - with me behind the wheels - and while in the car, we talked about a lot of stuffs and one of the topics that we talked about was about me furthering my studies.

Upon hearing what Papa had said, I was touched yet I didn't show it but deep down, I am glad that I have made my parents happy and proud of me as I know it has always been their wish to see me furthering my studies in the religious field; and I thank Allah for granting them their wish by making me passionate about knowing my religion more deeply and making this interest of mine, a concrete one and never once it fades away. ( although there's no doubt that other interests keep coming to knock on the door of my heart, religion is still the ultimate passion, alhamdulillah, (: ) I also do pray that I will keep learning about Islam with the heart being untainted with other motives except to do it khaalishotan lillahi Ta'ala

Okay, back to the topic.

I can't really imagine the day that I will finally bid farewell to my family.
Yeah, I know that Malaysia is terribly and insanely near to Singapore yet the thought of leaving my loved ones behind is making my heart aches day after day.
Time is running out. * tick tock tick tock *
The very fact that my family will not be around for me is one of the major reasons why I am not that keen to prepare the things needed prior to my departure; which - as a matter of fact - is just less than 2 weeks away.
In other words, I am now living in a world that I purposely made myself, oblivious to the time. Erk.

So Mr Keen and Mr Eager, ( don't ask me why I use MR instead of Miss, okay? ) can you two please come back quickly from your holiday? ' Cause I need you to be here with me as soon as possible alright? ' Cause with the two of you around, I can start returning to live in reality. Please?
Wassalam.

Nur Fathin Khairul Anuar
12: 59 AM

The First Entry.

2009-06-11T23:20:00.004+08:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Thursday
11 June 2009.

This is the day when this humble blog is born.
Some of my peers must be curious as to why I made a blog as I'm not the type of person who likes to share with others about my thoughts, my feelings.
Yet as days passed, I realised that I need to create an outlet or a space whereby my loved ones and my friends can keep in touch with me.
Family will be in Singapore while friends will be scattered all over the place. Egypt, Malaysia, Singapore. So * bam! * the idea of creating a blog seemed like a perfect one in order to keep in touch with them.
Although I will not be here with them physically in just a matter of days, they will still know that I'm connecting and interacting with them through this space.
I can't promise to constantly update this blog but I will try to make time for it biiznillah.
I also don't expect you readers to benefit anyhing from this page but if you do, Alhamdulillah.
That' about it for now.
Wasslam.

p.s : credits to best buddy nur'athifah mohd noor for making this blog a reality for me. :D

Nur Fathin Khairul Anuar
11: 45 PM